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Form 46a

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Dec. 10th, 2007 | 07:17 pm

I've often wondered how things like household bills are handled in the Harry Potter world. Are their beurocracies as incompetent as ours? Snape finds out...



‘I’d like to renew my Floo License’

The wizened little man at the desk didn’t even look up

‘Name’

‘Snape, Severus’

‘Location of prospective Floo Portal’

He passed over a small parchment with the Floo network coordinates neatly written in an elegant copperplate. As far as he could see the beady eyes didn’t even glance at it.

‘This Floo address is already connected’

Snape had waited an hour just to get through the queue to join a queue – another fifty minutes to get to an irritating gnome-like Thing had not improved his temper.

‘I am’, he paused to lower his voice, ‘perfectly aware of that. Which is why I asked for a renewal of the license.’

The tiny head looked up at last. A small hand reached into a drawer under the counter and brought out a battered brass plaque: New connections only – strictly no renewals. It thumped onto the desk with weighty finality.

‘NEXT’

For a rare single second Severus was stunned into silence. An elderly wizard behind him stuttered into wakefulness and started forward. He was stopped by a rigid arm and dark glare.

'Sir. You have just put that plaque upon the desk - there is no such plaque above it and I was directed here by an individual purporting to be the Head Administrator of this monolithically stupid and uncompromisingly inefficient governmental body…'

He stopped. The thing behind the desk pointed to a sign: Insults to the Department will result in Summary Ejection to the Start of Queue One

The Thing sighed: 'Do you have form 46a?'

Snape loosened his clenched fist just enough to pass over a crumpled red-bordered parchment. The Thing took it gingerly.

'The Green 46a, sir. Red is strictly for those who wish their Floo license to be self renewing'.

By now, Severus wished for nothing more. 'That will be fine'

The Things lips twisted into a wide, incredibly ugly smile. 'A wise choice, sir. Your licence for a self perpetuating license if you please…'

The whole line was in silence by now and the grinding of teeth could clearly be heard by those closest to the front.

Almost inaudible: ‘What?’

'Your licence for a…'

Louder but strangled: ‘What?’

'Form 81f (discontinued). The puce one'.

'What. If. I. Don’t. Have. One?'

'Then I’m afraid you will have to get one, sir. Line 21b.'

'Let me get this right. The form which a disturbingly ignorant member of your staff handed me with his inbred paws is the WRONG FORM. To get the RIGHT form I must re-queue to see again the aforementioned obtuse moron who gave me the wrong form in the first place?'

'Or obtain the licence for a self perpetuating license that 46a (red) clearly says you need in paragraph 97'.

Snape opened his mouth. And closed it firmly as he saw again the sign about Queue One over the irritating Things head. When he did speak again his voice was dangerous. Yet tinged with hope.

'Is this form the same as 46a (green)?'

A long-suffering sigh came from the Thing, 'No sir, it clearly has a red border'.

'But nothing else?'

'Just the Border, sir. But it really is very important'.

With a flourishing gesture, wand tapped paper, 'Verdigris'

The thing looked down and smiled, 'That will do nicely sir. One Knut, please'

Snape patted his pockets in horror…


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Comments {13}

forest_rose

(no subject)

from: forest_rose
date: Dec. 10th, 2007 07:29 pm (UTC)
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AAARGH! *falls over laughing* Oh, poor Snape! This is hilarious!

*taps Snape on the shoulder from behind him in the queue and hands him a Knut*

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Astrid

(no subject)

from: purple_ladybug1
date: Jan. 21st, 2008 09:49 pm (UTC)
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Wow, this is hysterical. Poor Snape!

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alan_mcleod

(no subject)

from: alan_mcleod
date: Jan. 21st, 2008 10:00 pm (UTC)
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Thank you very much for taking the trouble to comment - am glad you enjoyed it :)

Hope all is well for you
Alan

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sun

(no subject)

from: sadsunrise
date: Mar. 3rd, 2008 08:48 am (UTC)
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Hello!

This fic is really great! Poor Snape, I don't envy him. =)
Would you mind terribly, if I translate this fic into Russian language and publish it on hogwartsnet website (www.hogwarstnet.ru)? I will state everywhere that I am just a translator and you are the author of the fic. Also, all the additional information (like your email or website) can be published, if you wish.

Victoria

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alan_mcleod

Snape story

from: alan_mcleod
date: Mar. 3rd, 2008 06:08 pm (UTC)
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Hi Victoria,

I am flattered you like my story so much - of course I have no problem with you translating it :)

Wishing you well
Alan

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sun

Re: Snape story

from: sadsunrise
date: Mar. 3rd, 2008 06:10 pm (UTC)
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Thanks!
I'll send you the link to the translation as soon as I publish it. )

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sun

Re: Snape story

from: sadsunrise
date: Mar. 8th, 2008 08:37 am (UTC)
Link

Hello!

Here's the link to the translation:
http://www.snapetales.com/index.php?fic_id=4062

=)

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Jean

(no subject)

from: aphroditeallure
date: Dec. 30th, 2008 04:21 am (UTC)
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Oh my god. This is hilarious! After being forced to wait in lines at the INS and the State Department, I feel snape's pain. =) Thank you for brightening my i just got my wisdom teeth extracted therefore sucktacular day.

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alan_mcleod

Snape...

from: alan_mcleod
date: Dec. 30th, 2008 08:49 am (UTC)
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Well than you very much. It was fun to write! As a person destined for a nasty dental encounter soon myself I am glad this made your day a little better. Hope you feel loads better soon :)

Alan :)x

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degenerate, young rebel, and i'm proud of it

(no subject)

from: sparklycockles
date: Mar. 14th, 2009 01:02 am (UTC)
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hahaha how brilliant :P this is awesome!!

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alan_mcleod

(no subject)

from: alan_mcleod
date: Mar. 14th, 2009 04:11 am (UTC)
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You are so nice! Have looked at your stuff too and it is excellent :)

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Form 46a

from: anonymous
date: Mar. 28th, 2011 03:01 am (UTC)
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Hahaha, oh this was brilliant. Not an original review, I know, but just thought you should know.

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eyyeofnewt

Re: Form 46a

from: eyyeofnewt
date: Mar. 31st, 2011 11:27 pm (UTC)
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Thank you - it always makes me smile to get a nice comment - hope all is good for you :)

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